Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite.
The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal. — Eckhart Tolle
What does an
End of Life Doula Provide?
An End of Life Doula provides non-medical practical, emotional and spiritual support to a dying person and their loved ones. The services are meant to be individualized and are determined by you or, if you are unable, by the loved ones who know you best. Through education, deep listening and holding space for all that arises, a doula seeks to ease fear and anxiety and empower you to be deeply present to the death experience as a natural part of life.
Life Review, Meaning and Legacy Work
Vigil Planning
Bereavement
Caregiver Support
Welcome! I’m glad you’re here. Whether you have received a life-limiting diagnosis, have elected hospice care or are doing advance planning, my desire is to connect with you wherever you are in your journey, then help create space for you and for those around you to simply love.
My way of practicing the art of “death midwifery” is to provide room for all the possibilities. I have created Held to be a safe place where you can breathe and take solace; a place where you know you are not alone.
You can read the story of how my life changed in an instant and why it is now my desire to walk with others in one of the most sacred times of life – the end of life. It would be my honor to walk with you.
Holistic
End of Life Doula is
Sacred, compassionate, positive, intentional, courageous, client-centered, transformative, open-hearted, expansive, non-judgmental, resourceful, curious
What is an end of life doula?
The word “doula” is Greek and translates as “woman’s servant.” Its roots go back centuries in many cultures where those specially recognized as doulas would help other women give birth. The modern birth doula model was developed in the U.S. in the 1960s and more recently this model has been adapted for a doula approach to death.
An end of life doula (aka death doula, death midwife) provides practical, spiritual, and emotional support to a person who is facing a life limiting illness and their loved ones. Doulas have made a study of death, dying and grief, and can empower you and your loved ones to find meaning and continue to live fully until the last breath.
What does a doula do?
- summing up and planning
- conducting vigil
- reprocessing and early grief
In the first phase, doulas use deep active listening skills to help explore all aspects of a person’s life, uncover guiding values and reinforce what is most important as you face death. During these conversations, a person’s legacy will often emerge from which a tangible object can be created that can inspire family and friends and help them reconnect to their loved one after they are gone.
The summing up phase also brings an opportunity to address the harder experiences in life by exploring any regrets, unfinished business, guilt or shame (RUGS) a person may be carrying with an approach of curiosity and grace allowing transformation to take place.
Creating a vigil plan gives a person the opportunity to make choices about symptom management, how the vigil space will look, feel and sound, and invites loved ones into the experience in a way that best supports the dying person’s wishes. Approaching the vigil with intention creates a sacred space that can bring a sense of calm and peace that can ease a person’s transition and support loved ones throughout the dying process.
In the second phase, the doula will help conduct the vigil by follow the vigil plan as much as possible, helping loved ones understand the labor of dying, and hold space for all involved in an effort to reduce anxiety and fear by providing a calming and peaceful presence in the vigil space.
In the third phase, doulas help reprocess the death experience. It gives loved ones an opportunity to retell the dying story from their perspective and for the doula to offer viewed experiences from a different perspective. It is a time to share grief, continue legacy work, and honor the beauty inherently present at the threshold of life.
I have hospice, why do I need a doula?
A common misconception about hospice is that there is always a healthcare provider physically present, which is not the case. Because it is a medical model, hospice is subject to regulations that limit how much time they can spend with each patient. Doulas can help fill the gaps and prepare the family to fulfill much of the caregiving that their loved one will require.
Doulas do not replace hospice, but as their role becomes more understood, doulas can become an integral resource for the dying person and their families, as well as the hospice team.
Are doula services covered by insurance?
Please let me know how I can be of service to you.
