my services

my services

The  held  Approach

“Dying is the last developmental stage as a human.”

~Jane Whitlock (Death Doula)~

Held’s full-service plan of care is generally based on a four-part model:

  • Life Review, Meaning and Legacy Work
  • Vigil Planning
  • Caregiver Support
  • Bereavement

I work directly with the person who is ill and their main caregiver. If someone is unable to speak for themselves, I will work with the loved ones who know them best. Doula services are meant to be individualized, patient centric, and flexible to meet the changing needs of the client. A client is also free to choose any combination of the above services.

Life Review, Meaning and Legacy Work

Receiving a life-limiting diagnosis has a way of shifting the ground beneath your feet and suddenly the world is upside down. What was important to you a week ago is now rendered meaningless.

As a doula, I can help guide you to organize the day-to-day tasks that still need to happen, lead you in finding a new way to engage with the world, redefine the most important relationships, reconcile with the past, and find meaning in the life you are still living.

One of the biggest fears around dying is that no one will carry your memory forward. The work we do together often reveals the legacy of your life which can then be turned into a tangible gift for your loved ones. The focus of our work together will be to find ways for you to live as fully as you can for as long as you can.

Vigil Planning

The last days of a person’s life can be the scariest to imagine and the most remarkable to witness. There is a labor to dying much like there is with birthing, and the event of death is equally sacred to that of birth. Approaching the last days with intention by creating a vigil plan can give the dying person a sense of control and create a sacred space for loved ones to enter the dying experience.

Oftentimes, much of the vigil plan reveals itself in conversations around life review and meaning work. The plan created will honor your values, create a peaceful atmosphere, define the nature of interactions with those participating in the vigil, and reflect after death choices. The final vigil plan will be as unique as the person creating it. As a doula, I will ensure that your plan is respected, that those participating are prepared for what to expect and help to carry out the plan as closely as possible under the existing circumstances.

Caregiver Support

The label of caregiver is one that is given to you as soon as your person receives a life-limiting diagnosis. It suddenly usurps any professional title you may have achieved, as well as those familial titles we hold so dear, such as wife, son, brother, husband, mother or daughter. The caregiver is now expected to be a nurse, a personal care attendant, a project manager and a communications specialist without any of the training those professions require.

Even the strongest of relationships can be strained by the changing roles that a difficult diagnosis brings.

As a doula, I will help to ground you in this new role by providing tools and resources to ease the transition, guide you as to what to expect throughout the dying process, and help you find more space to simply love your person. Helping someone you love die is a sacred gift and has the power to transform the caregiver, the dying person, and all those who are touched along the way.

Bereavement

Even when the death of a loved one is anticipated and planned for, the reality of your person no longer being physically present in your life can be overwhelming and jarring. The weight of grief is real and difficult to comprehend.

As a doula, I will walk with you through the early stages of processing the death experience, help you organize and prioritize practical matters, support you as you adjust to a new reality and help you redefine your personal identity. Though the pain of grief is unavoidable, the journey to healing can be transformative when you open your heart to the beauty that can be found along the way.

Doula services are meant to be individualized, patient centric and very flexible.  The best way to get information on how I can help you is to set a time for us to talk.  Our first call is no charge and is focused on you, what is happening in your life, and how I can help support you and your loved ones.

One-on-One Coaching

“You have to open yourself up and let the pain move through you, it’s not yours to hold.”

~Frank Ostaseski~

Grief Relief Coaching

Grief is a process, and everyone’s individual experience of grief is unique.

The death of a loved one can have a profound effect on identity, and leave a person searching for new meaning and purpose in life.

It is possible to live fully after the loss of your person and to remember them with more love than pain.

Transformation happens when one allows themselves to fully experience all the complex emotions that may come up, ultimately forming a deeper connection to Self and your person.

As a Certified Grief Educator, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, I bring a unique methodology, tools, and techniques to guide clients in healing through grief and fully embrace life after loss.

Life Coaching

Looking at our lives through the lens of our own mortality can positively impact how we live.

In working with the dying, one of the first questions I ask is “what do you most want to save your energy for?”

  • How would you answer that question now in the wellness of your life?
  • Are you actively creating the life you want or reacting to the life that happens to you?
  • Are you investing in your own personal growth or are you caught in the cycle of putting other’s needs before your own?
  • Is how you spend your time in alignment with your values and purpose?
  • Living out of alignment with purpose and values can manifest as stress, depression, and generally feeling stuck and unmotivated.

Let’s Connect

Are you ready to start living your life from the inside out instead of the other way around? Are you ready to grow through your grief and beyond? Are you ready to invest in your personal growth and move towards happiness and fulfillment?

If you answered “Yes” to any of those questions, it’s time to set up a call.  This first call is no charge and will be focused on you and what is happening in your life.  Schedule some time with me today to get started!

One-on-One Coaching

“You have to open yourself up and let the pain move through you, it’s not yours to hold.”

~Frank Ostaseski~

Grief Relief Coaching

Grief is a process, and everyone’s individual experience of grief is unique.

The death of a loved one can have a profound effect on identity, and leave a person searching for new meaning and purpose in life.

It is possible to live fully after the loss of your person and to remember them with more love than pain.

Transformation happens when one allows themselves to fully experience all the complex emotions that may come up, ultimately forming a deeper connection to Self and your person.

As a Certified Grief Educator, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, I bring a unique methodology, tools, and techniques to guide clients in healing through grief and fully embrace life after loss.

Life Coaching

Looking at our lives through the lens of our own mortality can positively impact how we live.

In working with the dying, one of the first questions I ask is “what do you most want to save your energy for?”

  • How would you answer that question now in the wellness of your life?
  • Are you actively creating the life you want or reacting to the life that happens to you?
  • Are you investing in your own personal growth or are you caught in the cycle of putting other’s needs before your own?
  • Is how you spend your time in alignment with your values and purpose?
  • Living out of alignment with purpose and values can manifest as stress, depression, and generally feeling stuck and unmotivated.

Let’s Connect

Are you ready to start living your life from the inside out instead of the other way around? Are you ready to grow through your grief and beyond? Are you ready to invest in your personal growth and move towards happiness and fulfillment?

If you answered “Yes” to any of those questions, it’s time to set up a call.  This first call is no charge and will be focused on you and what is happening in your life.  Schedule some time with me today to get started!

Ask a Doula

“Life is a terminal illness which is sexually transmitted.”

~John Clease~

Education for Death

Learn more about death while you’re healthy!

Are you curious like me? As a Doula, I have made a study of death, dying and grief and have accumulated lots of resources for people like you, who are following their curiosity about their own mortality. Exploring the topic of mortality and death is often a doorway into learning how to live a more meaningful, peaceful and full life.

Why not see what there is to discover while living in health and wellness? A consultation with me is a perfect complement to estate and financial planning. Together, we can discover the values that have guided your life, explore what is most important to you as you age, and create a plan to help you live fully until your last breath.

Advanced Planning

“Talking about death won’t kill you anymore than talking about babies makes you pregnant.”

~Unknown~

Planning ahead, with someone who’s been there.

Health Care Directive

Your health care provider has given you a form and asked you to fill it out. Do you really know what any of it means?

The time to have these conversations is not in a time of crisis. During this consultation, I will guide you to discover what is truly most important should you face a life-threatening illness so your advanced directive best reflects your intentions and guiding values.

Sharing this directive with your loved ones is a great way to let your wishes be known and clarify what is most important to you. It is truly a gift for someone you love to know what you want and be able to advocate for you should the need arise.

Vigil Planning

A vigil plan can be created at any time, not just at the end of life. An advance vigil plan created while you are well is a perfect complement to the financial and estate planning process. It is a great place to start these very important but often uncomfortable conversations.

In this consultation, a doula will help you to discover the values that guide your life, uncover what is truly important now, and how you envision life as you age. From these conversations, a doula will create an advance vigil plan designed to help you envision a peaceful, sacred space to spend your last days.

Sharing this plan with your loved ones is a great way to let your wishes be known and clarify what is most important to you. It is truly a gift for someone you love to know what you want and be able to advocate for you should the need arise.

Advanced Planning

“Talking about death won’t kill you anymore than talking about babies makes you pregnant.”

~Unknown~

Planning ahead, with someone
who’s been there.

Health Care Directive

Your health care provider has given you a form and asked you to fill it out. Do you really know what any of it means?

The time to have these conversations is not in a time of crisis. During this consultation, I will guide you to discover what is truly most important should you face a life-threatening illness so your advanced directive best reflects your intentions and guiding values.

Sharing this directive with your loved ones is a great way to let your wishes be known and clarify what is most important to you. It is truly a gift for someone you love to know what you want and be able to advocate for you should the need arise.

Vigil Planning

A vigil plan can be created at any time, not just at the end of life. An advance vigil plan created while you are well is a perfect complement to the financial and estate planning process. It is a great place to start these very important but often uncomfortable conversations.

In this consultation, a doula will help you to discover the values that guide your life, uncover what is truly important now, and how you envision life as you age. From these conversations, a doula will create an advance vigil plan designed to help you envision a peaceful, sacred space to spend your last days.

Sharing this plan with your loved ones is a great way to let your wishes be known and clarify what is most important to you. It is truly a gift for someone you love to know what you want and be able to advocate for you should the need arise.

Special Events

If I’m going to die, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. 
If I’m going to live, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. 

~Ram Dass~

Living Funeral Ceremony

The living funeral ceremony is an experiential meditation on mortality.

The ceremony is an invitation to connect deeply with the mystery and richness of one’s life. It is an opportunity to reflect on the past, evaluate the present and prepare for the future.

Participants will be guided as they contemplate their personal memorial while imagining parts of their identity falling away. They will complete a writing exercise expressing their last words and wishes, and be gently lead through a death meditation using guided imagery. Past participants have shared that the experience has been life-affirming and even life-altering.

Living funeral ceremonies can be held virtually or in a live, in-person group setting. Private sessions are also available. Contact me for more details.

Living Funeral Ceremony

The living funeral ceremony is an experiential meditation on mortality.

The ceremony is an invitation to connect deeply with the mystery and richness of one’s life. It is an opportunity to reflect on the past, evaluate the present and prepare for the future.

Participants will be guided as they contemplate their personal memorial while imagining parts of their identity falling away. They will complete a writing exercise expressing their last words and wishes, and be gently lead through a death meditation using guided imagery. Past participants have shared that the experience has been life-affirming and even life-altering.

Living funeral ceremonies can be held virtually or in a live, in-person group setting. Private sessions are also available. Contact me for more details.

A Dinner to Die For!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could talk about death the same way we talk about birth? Sometimes all that is needed is a safe place to start these difficult conversations.

Why not invite a group of curious friends and family to explore these issues together as you are completely taken care of with a beautifully customized, catered dinner experience? After all, these are likely the same people you will want to be with at the end of your life.

I am happy to join your small group to facilitate a safe place to share hopes, fears and honor your experiences around death with laughter and love. Contact me to set up your own “Dinner to Die For” event!

A Dinner to Die For!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could talk about death the same way we talk about birth? Sometimes all that is needed is a safe place to start these difficult conversations.

Why not invite a group of curious friends and family to explore these issues together as you are completely taken care of with a beautifully customized, catered dinner experience? After all, these are likely the same people you will want to be with at the end of your life.

I am happy to join your small group to facilitate a safe place to share hopes, fears and honor your experiences around death with laughter and love. Contact me to set up your own “Dinner to Die For” event!

Private Workshops

These are custom tailored workshops for small groups where I facilitate discussions around death, dying and the role a death doula fills during these incredibly important times.

Workshops are pre-scheduled virtual or in-person events, where we work together to customize the content to meet your individual needs.

Contact me to schedule your own private Workshop.

Private Workshops

These are custom tailored workshops for small groups where I facilitate discussions around death, dying and the role a death doula fills during these incredibly important times.

Workshops are pre-scheduled virtual or in-person events, where we work together to customize the content to meet your individual needs.

Contact me to schedule your own private Workshop.

How Can I Be of Service to You?

How Can I Be of Service to You?